WORKING PARENTS

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TRY TO EASE UP ON PARENT GUILT

There is no doubt that parenting will always be a high-stakes operation!  The pandemic, however, has thrown parents into another realm altogether.  Moms and dads everywhere have been juggling work, home, office arrangements for over two years and this has heightened the guilt, and fear emotions that parents have had to deal with.   Moms and dads alike, have had to work from home and try to devote some time to their children at the same time.   Parents may feel guilty they’re not spending enough time with their children because of career demands, or they feel that they’re falling behind at work because home life is so demanding.  Many parents' biggest source of guilt was too much screen time, although this did give parents some time to spend quality time together and have a break.

Now that things are opening up, parents must make tough decisions to get the kids settled into childcare or preschool.  Parents have so many responsibilities to take care of and finding the balance between work, home and relationships is difficult.

The thing to remember is not to strive for perfection as this will only bring up unrealistic feelings of dissatisfaction and inadequacies.  Instead, trying to focus on doing your best can pave the way to more peace and joy in your life.  There is no such thing as the perfect parent so give yourself a break and enjoy moving through the mishaps with laughter. 

There was a very interesting study done by the  Journal of Marriage and Family, underscoring the old adage that “quality over quantity” matters.   Mothers have a natural disposition to want to spend all their time with their children, which places enormous pressure on their other obligations. The research points out that the quality of time spent with their children has a greater effect on child development.  

In 2018,a Harvard Business School researcher found that children of working moms had the opportunities to grow up to be happy, successful adults — and just as happy in adulthood as the children of moms who stayed at home.  The theory was built on the belief that the more time parents spent on their children the better the result would be.   Instead they found that those parents who invested quality time with their children such as reading together, eating and preparing meals together and devoting their attention to chatting about their days, had better academic and emotional success later in life.  Turn off your phones for a while in the evenings and devote your time to enjoying your family time.   Weekends can also be joyful, fun times where rituals such as gardening, baking together, visiting friends or family, or partaking in some sort of sports can be great stress relievers and bonding for you all.

So try to relax and let go of the guilt of being a working parent and enjoy the quality time you are given with your family and friends.